My Tattooist has been in to see me this morning and told me to get my arse round an rebook because he is desperate to get on and Tattoo me (or finish tattooing me at any rate :) ) Which is good news because I have missed having my tattoo done I really have ;)
I have been to see my Doctor this morning as well about some of my issues and he has asked to see a copy of my blog and some other notes regarding my Mental health so I have duly printed off a copy of my blog Natural Mental Implosion has gone public !
Not the way I had hoped but hopefully it will help!
I have never let anyone other than you guys read my blog so I am slightly nervous but if it helps then maybe its for the good of all things ? Who knows !
My business partner suggested this morning that I go on the sick to cover any expenses at the moment I think he his losing faith in me but to be honest I expected a little more support but I shall have to see where that goes!
I had a dream about "B" Last night it was nice
I dreamt that something had made her realise we should be together and she came to see me and then we kissed but when we kissed she had a mouth full of water..... Im not sure what that signifies but it was nearly romantic!
I am unsure of a few things at the moment I am thinking of packing in the whole working for myself thing and getting a real job where someone else worries but can I do that and what do I do
Monday, 12 February 2007
Sunday, 11 February 2007
Past Life
I have just been over at Michele's as I tend to be of a weekend an I visited Courtney's blog which was fun you should pop over and she had a link to Past Life Analysis which amused me so I went and had a go
Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Burma around the year 1550. Your profession was that of a banker, usurer, moneylender or judge.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn determination and persistency. Youd should not allow to let misfortunes take influence on your strong will.
Do you remember now?
No I don't but it amused me none the less ;)
Your past life diagnosis:
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern Burma around the year 1550. Your profession was that of a banker, usurer, moneylender or judge.
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
As a natural talent in psychology, you knew how to use your opportunities. Cold-blooded and calm in any situation.
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
Your task is to learn determination and persistency. Youd should not allow to let misfortunes take influence on your strong will.
Do you remember now?
No I don't but it amused me none the less ;)
Flitty... Like a Butterfly
Hey Everyone ;)
It turns out I'm flighty like a butterfly, well that's how a friend described me this weekend, an it made sense after a comment I received.... Here on my blog!
I have trouble holding my concentration, I am easily distracted, I hardly ever tend to finish a project to its fullest! and I fidget like you wouldn't believe......
I'm not sure where this fits in but I have an very vivid imagination.....
I but into conversations quite frequently and I struggle to keep with just one strain of thought at any time I normally have three four or five thought paths going on in my head which although great fun at times can cause chaos and often confusion ;)
I suffer from bouts of depression often for no apparent reason and I have the weirdest of mood swings you can imagine often waking in a morning in a god awful mood and staying that way all day!
You know what I figure there has to be a reason for this, I'm onto a couple of possibles and I think I have a good contender tied down but I have decided I have had enough and its about time I dealt with this once and for all cause its not how I want to be any more.......
I enjoy the dark thought strains sometimes and I enjoy the spikes in happiness when they come but I have contemplated suicide just one time too many of late and enough is enough its time to turn the corner move on and start back up the hill ;)
It turns out I'm flighty like a butterfly, well that's how a friend described me this weekend, an it made sense after a comment I received.... Here on my blog!
I have trouble holding my concentration, I am easily distracted, I hardly ever tend to finish a project to its fullest! and I fidget like you wouldn't believe......
I'm not sure where this fits in but I have an very vivid imagination.....
I but into conversations quite frequently and I struggle to keep with just one strain of thought at any time I normally have three four or five thought paths going on in my head which although great fun at times can cause chaos and often confusion ;)
I suffer from bouts of depression often for no apparent reason and I have the weirdest of mood swings you can imagine often waking in a morning in a god awful mood and staying that way all day!
You know what I figure there has to be a reason for this, I'm onto a couple of possibles and I think I have a good contender tied down but I have decided I have had enough and its about time I dealt with this once and for all cause its not how I want to be any more.......
I enjoy the dark thought strains sometimes and I enjoy the spikes in happiness when they come but I have contemplated suicide just one time too many of late and enough is enough its time to turn the corner move on and start back up the hill ;)
Friday, 9 February 2007
Updates on the week....
well I was hoping to post a picture of the snow but Im away from my webcam and I can't install the bluetooth driver on this laptop as it doesnt have a pcmcia slot or not an old one anyways so I am trying to install my microsoft bluetooth mouse and use that if i am successful ill update the post with a photo ;)
As for the week oh well interesting is the slant as it always is im gonna have to come up with a new word....
Any suggestions ?
"You" text me last night and we had a 44 text conversation which resulted in me realising I do still have dormant feelings for her and it is obvious they are at some level reciprocated because the texts went on til 130 am an became quite intense at points but I still have to beg the question is it a good idea there is an age difference and at times it can be apparent at others it is not visible or noticable am i the one putting stop to any further action or am i imagining that there is anything in it? Both questions I do not have the answer to right now although I will search for them at some level....
"B" has been very elusive this week which probably means she has herself a temporary playtoy of some description you may be sensing slight aggrevation in my tone but it is not of any depth or strength because I have no right to stand in the way of a situation I am not participating in to any level!
I am sure with time things will get sorted out and with each step and each day I learn a little something else about myself or the situations around me ;)
As for the week oh well interesting is the slant as it always is im gonna have to come up with a new word....
Any suggestions ?
"You" text me last night and we had a 44 text conversation which resulted in me realising I do still have dormant feelings for her and it is obvious they are at some level reciprocated because the texts went on til 130 am an became quite intense at points but I still have to beg the question is it a good idea there is an age difference and at times it can be apparent at others it is not visible or noticable am i the one putting stop to any further action or am i imagining that there is anything in it? Both questions I do not have the answer to right now although I will search for them at some level....
"B" has been very elusive this week which probably means she has herself a temporary playtoy of some description you may be sensing slight aggrevation in my tone but it is not of any depth or strength because I have no right to stand in the way of a situation I am not participating in to any level!
I am sure with time things will get sorted out and with each step and each day I learn a little something else about myself or the situations around me ;)
Wednesday, 7 February 2007
Well the week is interesting
Hey all ;)
This week has been busy, confused, stressful and complicated but its been fun ;)
I am dealing with things a hell of a lot better this week, I'm not entirely sure how but whatever I am doing is helping......
The uplifting and reassuring comments from my blogger friends (you know who you are) are great and always help sometimes I think it just helps to get another persons point of view and perspective as well as to get a re-assuring "hey it will be ok just hang in there"
So all in all positive is the answer ;)
Its cold in blighty at the mo and I mean cold, plus its going to snow tomorrow which is always fun, the upside to the weather is even though it is really cold (not artic cold or alaska cold) but cold, it is really sunny the sun is sat there bright and proud like its making its own special point!
I am thinking of revamping my blog at the moment I am going to start with my banner I think and work back from there I have a few ideas for CSS templates I want to use but I am going to ease myself into that gently.
As for everything else at the moment business is very hectic and is piece by piece picking up pace which is good....
I am in the process of building the content for a seminar I am going to be giving on the benefits of the internet as a knowledge base and research tool and general social networking environment while staying safe and protected which is really interesting and entertaining.
I know I keep asking but any of you guys that are on myspace get on over to my page and add me..... Network, network, network......
And for anyone who I havent thanked for commenting here's a big thank you to all of you for general comments hints and help and generally for not lurking ;)
This week has been busy, confused, stressful and complicated but its been fun ;)
I am dealing with things a hell of a lot better this week, I'm not entirely sure how but whatever I am doing is helping......
The uplifting and reassuring comments from my blogger friends (you know who you are) are great and always help sometimes I think it just helps to get another persons point of view and perspective as well as to get a re-assuring "hey it will be ok just hang in there"
So all in all positive is the answer ;)
Its cold in blighty at the mo and I mean cold, plus its going to snow tomorrow which is always fun, the upside to the weather is even though it is really cold (not artic cold or alaska cold) but cold, it is really sunny the sun is sat there bright and proud like its making its own special point!
I am thinking of revamping my blog at the moment I am going to start with my banner I think and work back from there I have a few ideas for CSS templates I want to use but I am going to ease myself into that gently.
As for everything else at the moment business is very hectic and is piece by piece picking up pace which is good....
I am in the process of building the content for a seminar I am going to be giving on the benefits of the internet as a knowledge base and research tool and general social networking environment while staying safe and protected which is really interesting and entertaining.
I know I keep asking but any of you guys that are on myspace get on over to my page and add me..... Network, network, network......
And for anyone who I havent thanked for commenting here's a big thank you to all of you for general comments hints and help and generally for not lurking ;)
Friday, 2 February 2007
Oh God what a week
If it could go wrong this week it did !!
I have had some royally dark spells this week, mentally and physically and there have been some close calls.....
My Internet at home is limited again which is not leaving me able to blog as regularly as I would like which I don't think is helping....
I have started to be able to spot when I am struggling mentally of late as I can't gather my thoughts or string together strains of memory.....
My association / relationship with "B" and "You" is no clearer and when I have my dark spells this is not helping the situation but maybe that is half my own fault as well as a culmination of other issues.
My heaad is well and truly living up to the title of my blog at the moment in all its forms
Financially my life is falling apart I have money coming in but its always a day later than I need it which is an age old problem and a matter of my lack of financial organisation or lack of it
I have had some royally dark spells this week, mentally and physically and there have been some close calls.....
My Internet at home is limited again which is not leaving me able to blog as regularly as I would like which I don't think is helping....
I have started to be able to spot when I am struggling mentally of late as I can't gather my thoughts or string together strains of memory.....
My association / relationship with "B" and "You" is no clearer and when I have my dark spells this is not helping the situation but maybe that is half my own fault as well as a culmination of other issues.
My heaad is well and truly living up to the title of my blog at the moment in all its forms
Financially my life is falling apart I have money coming in but its always a day later than I need it which is an age old problem and a matter of my lack of financial organisation or lack of it
Well this is actually an update to a the above which I meant to post on saturday but it got banged into draft so here I am Sunday night 251am so Monday Morning really blogging "Ace"
I have just been over to Myspace poor showing people (but thanks to al that do add an say hello) and I was reminded I hadnt blogged by a blogging friend who I asked my how my week was and I said I would be blogging about it later well I havent.....
Or blogged about my weekend....!
Where have I been ?
Well busy really working which is good but a boys gotta play an I am not doin enough of that I can tell you......
The question really is what has a man gotta do to find a woman to hold him yes ladies right now thats all I bloody well want (although admittedly that may not last the night out ) who has less issues than him ???
It doesnt seem like an unreasonable request but for the love of me.....
I am taking offers for companionship from all angles people ;)
What I look for is someone who I can talk to share time with and who I can laugh with I am hard to live with a workaholic and slightly eccentric on the other hand I am loving heartfelt and a deep down romantic.....
Yet it aint working what am I doing wrong ?
Thats me up there third from the left black top
Oh and I know I keep banging on a bout it but if you have a myspace go add me ;)
Oh God what a week
If it could go wrong this week it did !!
I have had some royally dark spells this week, mentally and physically and there have been some close calls.....
My Internet at home is limited again which is not leaving me able to blog as regularly as I would like which I don't think is helping....
I have started to be able to spot when I am struggling mentally of late as I can't gather my thoughts or string together strains of memory.....
My association / relationship with "B" and "You" is no clearer and when I have my dark spells this is not helping the situation but maybe that is half my own fault as well as a culmination of other issues.
My heaad is well and truly living up to the title of my blog at the moment in all its forms
Financially my life is falling apart I have money coming in but its always a day later than I need it which is an age old problem and a matter of my lack of financial organisation or lack of it
I have had some royally dark spells this week, mentally and physically and there have been some close calls.....
My Internet at home is limited again which is not leaving me able to blog as regularly as I would like which I don't think is helping....
I have started to be able to spot when I am struggling mentally of late as I can't gather my thoughts or string together strains of memory.....
My association / relationship with "B" and "You" is no clearer and when I have my dark spells this is not helping the situation but maybe that is half my own fault as well as a culmination of other issues.
My heaad is well and truly living up to the title of my blog at the moment in all its forms
Financially my life is falling apart I have money coming in but its always a day later than I need it which is an age old problem and a matter of my lack of financial organisation or lack of it
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