Saturday, 30 June 2007

Is it an addiction or do I just despise being told no?


I know I'm not supposed to be drinking on my current course of Meds and yet I persist ;( Ok not as frequently as I used to its is no where near as often I hardly if ever drink in the week any more but last night I was invited by my Brother "N" to see a some friends who perform in a band Maelstrom play in one of my local pubs. An what can I say I enjoy drinking I just don't enjoy the after effects ok luckily I didn't wake on a downer this morning but It was only luck added by the fact that I had a really good night last night but still why do I do it?

Anywho I am ok slightly hungover but it happens I am planning to quit smoking tomorrow so all the help I can get is gonna be needed folks ;)

Friday, 29 June 2007

28 Days Later

Ok so I've been in hiding……

I'm 28 Days into my Medication well 29 Days but 28 Days Later sounded better ;)


Well no I haven't I have just been really lazy when it comes to blogging commenting and general internet, I haven't even used my laptop @ home in god knows how long I dunno why I just haven't had the need or inclination to really. I am still going to be blogging I'm just not sure how frequently?

What is really good at the moment is Im reading again and I am getting up in the mornings well when I'm not its literally because I am tired and only that. For now back to the reading In the last two weeks I have read The Red Dwarf Omnibus, Michael Connellys The Narrows, and I am just about to finish The Historian By Elizabeth Kostova This is one of the best books I have read in ages a Historical Romance about Vlad Tepes and the Dracula Legend with Intrigue Suspense and Romance and thrill thrown in for good measure all in all an awesome read, I would advise anyone to buy and read this book.

"you" is back on the scene but I think I have come to the conclusion that we are just going to be friends even though I know I have stronger feelings for her I am sure they are not returned even though she see's me as a very good friend that is all it is meant to be which is a shame because she lights me up and she is so intelligent and so beautiful she has a radiance that glows from within and she is just so creative…..

Other than me work is busy I just need to reschedule a holiday as I am going to need one.

A blogger friend of mine has some awesome news well she had it over a week ago but still go over and congratulate her I personally wish Fauve and Thing all the best in there new life together and hope she continues to keep up her blog no matter what the content ;)

Congratulations to the happy couple ;)

As for me Im getting there which is ace ;)

So bring it on world its all cyclic and im in a form of evolution

Thursday, 14 June 2007

Im supposed to be in Paris

So why aren't I there you ask well I had things half sorted I had flights booked I had my Korn ticket booked I kind of had my accommodation sorted….


An well work and funds have conspired against me I have a big presentation to do on the 25th its my cousins wedding on the 23rd which I need to be here for and well Im only just into my meds an not sure if Im ready for Paris on my own, don't get me wrong I love Paris, an I mean I love Paris its just I need to know Im me in my own head again and I booked it all in haste as a form of escapism an I will reschedule but I now have a Korn ticket for next Wednesday an Im not gonna be there anyone gonna be in Paris an wanna use it ???

Tuesday, 12 June 2007

So ive been in hiatus

Well I've had a bit of a break from blogging not for any reason and not because I haven't had things to write mainly because I have been just trying to work things out and let these new meds level me out. They appear to be doing the trick I started taking them exactly 12 days ago on the 1st of June and was wary because I had been warned by the doc that they would take 2 – 3 weeks to kick in well I don't know whether it was the placebo effect or the tablets but they appeared to make me feel better after taking just two tablets which I was complaining about. I started then on the Friday before my mum's birthday (recap I hadn't spoken to her in a while, for various reason's so I was slightly anxious) and the bbq was being held on the Saturday night my doc had told me drinking wasn't a good idea on these new meds but I had been forewarned that the bbq was going to be entertaining a good proportion of my family ;o

Well if you knew my family you'd get drunk….

So Saturday evening arrives I'm two days into my meds and I get to the party and proceed to drink I actually started on G & T which isn't a good sign by all accounts I really went fot it and have very little recollection of the evening from about 21:30 ish onwards ( I didn't get there until 19:30(I know its not big and its not clever but its done now ;( ) ) anywho I had a really good night I wake up on Sunday Morning not entirely sure where I am other than the fact that I'm naked and I roll over and one of my mum's friends smiles back at me ;o

(hence some of the reason for the hiatus I have been deciding whether to post this or not)

So we enjoyed each others company for a couple of hours got up and me still very drunk fell asleep on her sofa and woke up part of the way through POC 2 well waking upto Johnny Depp not many women would complain so she drops me off back at mine at about 16 – 17:00 ish and that's that until I get an email from her asking how I am I had basically spent the rest of Sunday and bank holiday Monday recovering on the Tuesday I'm back at work and all is well the tablets appear to be working well even though I had got drunk I did have a weird day on Thursday where I felt angry for most of the day for no apparent reason but the next day was fine then on the Friday my Mum's friend "T" asked if she could see me and she arranged to pick me up and she would cook for me which on the Saturday we proceeded to do and then I came home on the Sunday and have been generally getting used to life on the meds which is pleasant because I feel very different some days tired and the past couple of days slightly nauseous but if the long term benefits are to feel as less anxious as I have been feeling and not have the dark days anymore I have dark patches still but not dark days anymore and I know its till early days but I hope things continue to get better as they are doing…

As for "T" well I don't know where I am there or what I am actually doing or why she seems keen I think but I really should have told her where my head was at and about the meds and guess what I didn't well we shall see how the meds hold out an where we end up but I might be posting a little more often now I have this one out ;)