Monday, 29 September 2008
So the Chicken or the Egg?
how was everyones weekend?
mine was fun filled and relaxing all at the same time. My mum has a new lodger 'K' an I think I am rediscovering my Mojo
Wednesday, 24 September 2008
"she didnt have the boys whilst we were together, they came with her as part of the package! I will be giving out a totaly wrong impression with how I worded that!"
So hopefully thats cleared that up and apparently my grammar is terrible lol
Well thanks B :)
I should also note that I had a new post written out yesterday and blogger and gmail appeared to be playing up or was it just me so......
what have we to report Hmmmmm I found a sock, no that's of no importance errrr.....
I want no sorry I need, er no I would really like a holiday but just not happening at the moment.
Big news is I have my driving test on Wednesday so.,..... nerves are building steadily for that.
I don't know if I had told you but apparently my grammar is terrible, not that I'm hurt or anything :(
OK don't know as I have anything else to post at the mo
peace out peeps
Tuesday, 16 September 2008
Where does it go really, time that is? It's Monday already and as far as I can tell without making a list which may or may not prove me wrong I haven't done an awful lot and therefore I feel a little guilty, Although the business appears to be having a healthy Month It doesn't feel like it has been but maybe it's the fruits of my labour from the build up?
It has been encouraging that it appears that while I have been away finding myself I have been missed so that is good, obviously it helped the old ego but besides that its just nice to know there are people out there who appreciate you if only for the smaller things in life.
I have been having quite lengthy discussions with an ex on Facebook of late (Hello yes you know who you are J ) and you know what it's been nice she's married now with 3 kids she had two great boys when we were together she now has a daughter who I am sure is lovely with her husband who I don't know but I'm sure he's a sound bloke but it's great that we can talk and discuss and just chat about stuff.
What it made me realize was that I haven't really apologized to some people since I realized the implications of my illness and I told her I was sorry for being a dick and treating her badly and generally being me and she said I had nothing to apologize for but I feel like I did and it helped it was like another step towards recovery and I want to take the opportunity to apologize to all those people who allowed me to get close to their hearts and emotions and then I treated them badly or in some way hurt them I am, was not totally aware of everything I have done but I am truly sorry for all and any hurt I caused.
Sunday, 14 September 2008
barr going round to a clients to set up their wireless at home and be completely scared witless by their 4 kids and choatic household.......
Don't get me wrong lovely family but fuck me I had to get out I stepped intot the corner at one point and they thought I was fucking kidding!
So after that I came home went to bed for a nap the whole Mark [see previous post] thing took it right out of me so I slept til late which isn't good for P&C but hey I needed it so I woke up stayed up til late cus I had napped and still woke up at 8:30.....
My mom was s'posed to be picking me up at 9, she rang at 9 to say she was leaving she is perpetually late but can be always forgiven as she covers with food this morning it was fresh oatcakes and I mean fresh as in she handed them to me and I went SHITE they're effin hot [don't swear round mom she hits harder than me.....
So I ate oatcake on the way to hers we got there she cooks up bacon cheese and oatcake's yeeeeeeaaaah they're awesome with brown sauce to top it off then
1. rip up her friends laminate floor
2. take crap from above to tip
3. eat chicken and mushroom pie mom has made me
5. walk round one of local towns for two hours on guided history tour
4. watch comedy with cup o' tea
5. come home
6. surf t'internet aimlessly
Then find myself writing blog just to say barr that weekend has been really really quite [reads last post]
Friday, 12 September 2008
That was on my igoogle today so I thought I'd share.....
My brother has really fucking pissed me off today so much so I want to construct a pire and burn the bastard alive obviously when I have had my meds I'll calm down but......
Arrrrrrgggggghhhh wwwwooooooo hooooooo
he's just an incipid self centred bastard
feel free to email him and ask him his opinion
Im sure it will differ but you know Im venting here Im allowed to vent its my god damn blog.
No doubt he'll comment I'll delete it [hint] and away we go.
Whats he done, well he's just got married and all the way up to the wedding he's been fucking bridezilla, prissy little pansy must be like this must be like that want you here, dont want you here. Now he's married he's turned into one of those controlling wives that gets beaten to death with a big fucking spanner [I IN NO WAY CONDONE PHYSICAL VIOLENCE TOWARDS WOMEN] I want to do this I want you to be in my shadow I am the best you will conform I am the adult I am all knowing......
Well guess what ASSHOLE?
No I wont no one controls me and no you fucking won't.
I think we are going to come to blows there have been a couple of close calls already one where he was stood in front of me and he looked at me with this look of disdain and I thought fuck it Im just gonna knock the twat through the wall then at his wedding party he looked down his nose at me and I thought I'll just kick it across the fucking lawn.....
but see I am trying to live a calm relaxed chilled life with forgiveness and unconditional love where everything is for the higher good he is the only stumbling block pompous little bastard!
now four deep breaths innnnnnnn, outtttttt!
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
What do I want, well I want to be chilled happy and live every day as it comes :) and that people is how I intend to try and live my life. Notice I said try there, because I still have my bad days but there are fairly infrequent now and I am getting better at spotting them I am also realsing some people when they are hurtful or upset me don't really mean it and even though it really does rile and upset me what I have to do is pull myself out of it and just forgive them.
Unconditional Love, and Its all for the Greater Good
That is my new Mantra I learnt this and many more things from this lady Anne Jones
I was introduced to her work by a relaxation therapist I have started to have a series of therapies with Martha Brophy who has opened my eyes to a whole different world and I thank her every time I see here and often in my thoughts for her help.
Also I have recently joined a Business Networking group which I have been appointed group leader of my Area for which has done wonders for my confidence and self-esteem.
I think I have gone off on a tangent here but all in all I am more of me than I have been in a long while I have left the empty husk of a person I was 6-12 months ago behind and have evolved into a more open more emotionally aware and definately more attuned person who is willing to give as well as receive and above all help before wanting.
All in all I think I am back more than I have ever been and I think I am going to try and keep this here upto date again so
Hello blogosphere Im back Im bad and yes my grammar is shite...........