Friday, 25 May 2007

Blah where do I start

Well I went to see the doc yesterday I got up feeling rough and slightly deaf and I thought this ain't right surely? So on arriving at the office I rang for an emergency appointment and surprisingly enough got one, toddled off down to the doc he looks down my ear and his first words are eurrgh….

Which I wasn't expecting, turns out I have had this ear infection for a couple of weeks an my body has been ignoring it or I have who knows, well he puts me on ear spray and antibiotics, I then have to inform him I am seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow for my prescription for ssri's to make sure things to conflict. Now this was strange for me cus I never really used to take tablets and all of a sudden my life is to be very involved arrange around these weird little pills. They are going to improve my quality of life greatly so I don't mind its just strange for me to think I will rely on someone other than myself. I asked my doc who was really good by the way about the issues with ssri's and he put me at ease saying look if something is wrong you fix it that is what you are doing with the ssri's an when he put it like that I thought "yeah that makes sense".

So I troddled off to see my psychiatrist today who I talked about the issues I have been having and how the boundary between work and play and my dark days is getting blurry and that I thought I was ready to accept chemical help in sorting this issue out and he told me he would write the scrip for me refer me for some confidence building therapy and see how I coped on the meds. You know what I already feel slightly better I am out of sorts today but I already feel slightly more at ease in myself in that I am a step closer to the end to this dark evolution of me I am sure I will come out the other side a better and more understanding person but I have to say this journey has been pants….

On a different note I have been invited to my mums 49th birthday bash tomorrow to which I am going hesitantly but I really do have to go there are bridges that need building there so it's a first step and all but I am on antibiotics at the mo and I really should stay on them and continue the course, but do I sneak a wee drinky in tomorrow night (we all know where one leads come on lets be realistic its me compulsive addictive personality over here) or do I be a good boy and stay sober….

Well answers on a postcard please

*side note*

I gave my psychiatrist the url to this blog today so if you're here and reading it welcome and thanks for everything


aprilbapryll said...

I've never been good at taking pills -- I even take a chewable vitamin. Oddly, though, I can take large quantities of pills at one time with no trouble, like 4 motrin. Hmmm ...

here via michele's! evidently everytime i hit "refresh" she reposts my last post! :)

sophie said...

Best wishes on your meds working out. I was incredibly stubborn and didn't agree to meds until I had a major meltdown. It was the smartest thing I ever did. It may take time to find the best drug for you, so hang in there.

Nikki-ann said...

I'm glad to hear you're starting to feel better. You're taking steps forward and that's great :)

I'm absolutely awful at taking tablets! My own mind stops me from swallowing them in the first place and then I struggle to keep them down.

Anyway, good luck :)

Blue Monkey Jammies said...

I used to have trouble taking one tablet at a time. Now I'm on a medication regimen just to keep me upright all day and it's not uncommon to have to swallow 6 or 7 tablets at once. Pretty pathetic achievement actually.

You shared quite a bit in your post. It was very open and revealing. I hope you can rebuild the bridges with your Mum too.

Here via Michele today.

utenzi said...

Michele sent me over, Oracle.

I never took pills either but my ex-wife finally got me started while we were initially dating. She introduced me to Midrin (for migraines) and it's just wonderful. Still the only thing I take but as you get older, more meds tend to get added to the regimen. Fortunately you're still young, Oracle.

Good luck with those SSRI's. I hope they do the trick. Mental states are real tricky and it's best to keep them in order.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You gave your blog URL to the psychiatrist? It will be interestibng to see how he analyses it.

ƒåυνέ said...

Sorry to hear about the ear infection. I hope the antibiotics kick in and you start feeling better soon.

And I hope everything goes well at your mum's party tomorrow. I'll be looking for an update about it. :)