I'm going to start here with a thank you, to who well she knows & she knows why it wasn't a huge gesture or a particularly long or eloquent one but it was perfect and couldn't have been better timed.
To put it shortly I have been ill well I am ill, no that's not right, I share my mind with this Illness known as bipolar and over the past few weeks (okay months 'shhh in the stalls') it has consumed me I have been stressed distracted and all in all not me it culminated on Saturday night with me me taking an overdose of my medication ok as you can tell I'm ok I woke up with what felt like the mother of all hangovers and it felt like the French foreign legion where marching a salsa on my kidneys but I'll live, what's my point well that was pretty stupid what I did, I have people, you out there reading this (er you are still there aren't you, oh yeah I see you) I have a support network I just need to use it and I have learnt some skills to help me the problem is sometimes its just so FUCKING hard people...
I'm only human and that's what i've got to remember when Im piling work on stressing about something I need to end (more on that later) and beating myself up for things that in the grand scheme are inconsequential)
If I repeat this I apologise but It s gonna have to be my new mantra if I'm gonna come out of this any use to any one at all
Oh an I think I've decided I wanna get married an have kids ok im single and i've always been dead against marriage but I'm human sue me!